Found my way here this morning...
So much has happened. Miracles everywhere.
I've got a new blog in place...for better or worse.
Maryat60.blogspot.com
It's different.
But I've decided to link the two, study the two, a bit more, in hopes that I will come to understand who I am a bit more...and to give others something to be amused by.
Nearly a Nun...
Really looked it over, you know. Was pretty much planning to try it out for real. But then, as I studied, I realized that the Church does not recognize nuns/sister/monks too much. It's not a sacrament to consecrate oneself to God through a particular discipline. It's just a lay person saying they are going to behave a certain way, and the Church gets to decide is that behavior suits their needs. It serves a purpose, but the Church does not affirm it with a blessing of Sacrament. The only reason for me to become a nun would be to satisfy some part of my own ego on some level. So I've pretty much set that idea aside. For others, I can see that as a sold way to belong to God.
But to a woman who was a pastor once, who has been called reverend (for better or worse), who has been in charge and worked to get things done in a particular fashion...well, I have not yet reached the level of humility that allows me to forgive the Church for not loving all men and women as daughters and sons of God.
I have, however, given back my commission to God. One could call that progress. I recognize that, however broken the Church might be in its theological understanding of women, it's not my job, or place, or call, to fix it. I have no interest in being a martyr to something that will require more than a woman to change things. But I can do good work, as I am. With this body...and be happy about it. I resign from the political temptations of my understanding of social justice, and opt for serving as I am able to serve...and being at peace with it. Accepting it as my cross to bear, like a woman who cannot have children...to bear my burden with dignity and creativity. Living in love.
And working unceasingly to not be jealous of those who are allowed to do the work.
Sigh.
Progess.
Right?
Progress.
