He ascended into Heaven

The retreat went well. Even better than I imagined, than I hoped. I think it will be a long while before most of us will understand the fruit from that day. 
I have to force myself to not think about the mistakes I made...but it is not as hard as it used to be. In my heart, I know everything happened exactly as it should.  In community, God's plan worked.  The gifts of the two other women who shared in presentation...as with the beautiful woman who put together the Bible study...I was privileged to watch them bloom. I thought, "God allowed me to help water their seeds!"  How great is that?! All I did was say, "Do it!" and they did.  But I must be so careful in my joy here...because I had others saying to me, "Do it!" and I did.  So where did it begin and where might it end? 

In heaven, of course. From where we came, we shall one day return.

I did the hardest thing I have had yet to do, I think...on this last retreat. I spoke of the most important thing to me: how to die. Too early now to know if I did it right...I feel that it was okay. That was why I was created: to die.

From an old Star Trek episode, Captain Kirk tell the mother of his only son, "How we die is at least as important as how we live."  And from an Angel episode, Wesley interprets an ancient text, " the champion[Angel] will die" and everyone is sad...until they realize that 'to die' means 'to live.'  We are fascinated with life and death.  Even more than food and sex!  In my opinion, these are the cornerstones of all religions: life, death, food, sex. We want to make sense of why we are here. In primitive religions (oh I am speaking so out of line here!) concern was with sex...but now that we are "older," I think we have graduated to "love."  Sort of.  Alright, I am not going to write of this anymore today.  At some point, I will...but I don't want to lose track of why I write today. 

Life and death. They are the same thing.
From the Gospel of John:

"The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.
Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit.
Whoever loves his life loses it,
and whoever hates his life in this world
will preserve it for eternal life.

I spoke yesterday about how Jesus teaches us how to die.  That was so very hard for me to do.  I felt like I had just given birth to a child. I played the heavy...and I am very pleased that my 'bookends' were women who brought the beauty and love of life into the day. I asked the retreatants to die with me, and then, as God had planned...they ascended into heaven.  Every life brings death...and every death brings (okay, 'can bring') life. It only ends if you want it to.  It only ends if you cling to it.  Death is a doorway into the next thing.

Of course, that requires that you believe our souls are eternal. Which means you have to believe in your soul's existence.  Don't be too proud to believe in your soul. Just as I ask you to not be too proud to believe in God.

The bird that sings outside my window just now may just be biology, a simple evolution of a single celled organism...or just a chain of proteins linked together in random order...or that bird could be a gift from God, sent to me, on this Sunday morning...to warm my heart and make me believe that I am loved and that I need to do my part to give love back.

What seems like foolishness to some might save my life and maybe some others when it seems like death is going to win.  

I assure you, it will not win.  There are enough fools in this world who dare to believe, and because they believe, they love...even when they know they will get nothing in return...ah, because they have learned that love is that strange thing that never stays...and never leaves.  As soon as you share it, you receive it.

And as soon as you die (however you die, to body, to mind, to spirit, to possessions, to attachments...) you live.  ..."nihil habentes, et omnia possidentes" [2 Cor. 6:12] (Having nothing, yet possessing all things) Book 2, Chapter 8 "The Dark Night"

Love, Cindy