The Doll

No, I haven't left the planet...yet.  I am still to busy to sit and write. My thoughts are either moving too fast or too slow, I cannot decide.  A truth will come in about another week, when I'll get tested again to determine what is happening to this body that my soul lives in. Then, I will be able to decide what I want to do next. 
All in all, this Christmas, I was given the greatest present someone could get:life. Through real human blood.  I never thought too much about it before, perhaps because I never had to, but in my work, I am often working to understand what someone is going through in the hospital setting.  One never really knows about fear until one experiences it firsthand.  No one can say to you, "I understand" unless they have walked the path. Even then, a person can only really understand his own experience...and that is only if he wants to understand it. We cannot project our experiences onto another person, as much as we would like to, or unconsciously try. 
It is so hard to be alive...when you think about it...and so easy to be alive...when you don't think.  Shakespeare wrote that in a play, but I don't remember which one.  "The world is a comedy to those that feel and a tragedy to those that think"

Alas, I think...and I feel...
I feel a lot...and I think about it...and if I work hard, I can write about it truthfully.

As I review the year, and I will do that, once my babies are safely on their way to the next thing, I have to pay attention to what I have learned in 2012.  I put that here, because I charge you to look at your life this year. But the charge has one very important caveat: the review must be a redemption story. I don't care where you are in your life, or what you are doing, you must always remember that all stories should be redemption stories...and if you cannot see that in your story, then you you need to sit with it a bit longer.  And if you are too proud to think you need redeeming, then I suggest you look again...not one of us is without the need for great mercy: from God, of course, but very much, too, from ourselves! 
How can we possibly live a holy life without being merciful to ourselves?  How can we offer mercy unless we have first received it?  My whole life is tied up in the truth that we cannot give away what we do not have...and most people who are cruel or unkind...are cruel or unkind because that is what they have been given.  We cannot judge. We must simply give love. To everyone. Because He said to do it...and because we know it is the right thing to do.

The children are not nestling anymore...must go.

Love, Cindy