In fear and trembling...

In fear and trembling I wait...
Will you remember or have you forgotten me?
Will you speak
or pretend you don't know me anymore?
In fear and trembling I wait.

Everyone seems so excited now
The Savior of the world has returned
to Jerusalem
And we will be fed
given jobs
not be lonely anymore.

Right?
Everything's going to be alright now.
He's going to bring in
the new, the better, the complete.

Like little puppies
at the sound of their master's voice,
they begin barking,
frantically wagging their tails
so excited
their little hearts might just pop
right out of their chests:

He is here
And all good things are coming
All will be well
Because he is here
And we will never be alond again.

But we are not puppy dogs
Still part of us are
Stephen Vincent Benet wrote
"we like to raise a man to the highest power
and then throw bricks at him." 

We want a leader
We want to belong
We want our problems solved
And peace on earth
We want
And we want
And we don't know how
To stop wanting...

Not puppies
But children
Waiting
for their dad to get home.

Some wait for years
Praying so hard,
Will he remember me?
Will he come home this time?
Will he still like me?
Will he be nice?

It's hard to wait
But sometimes
It's even harder
When what you have waited for
Finally arrives
Reality hits you
And all the fantasies
of how perfect
it would be
is over.

Holy week
is every week
We start with expectation
And hope
But the story unfolds
Differently than we planned

In less than a heartbeat
We trade one god for another
We abandon Truth
Because it's not the Truth
We were looking for
Because it's dark
And we can't see
Anything.

We kill off love
Because it wasn't there
When we needed it
We punish it
We abandon it
Because we believe
It abandoned us first...

We want what we want when we want
Part of this week
Is learning how to wait
Without fear and trembling

To forgive the suffering
That just comes with being human
To see who is really right
And who is really wrong
And face the light
That really feels
Enough

We begin the week
In fear and trembling
And it gets much darker
And some will give up
And leave forever

Yet, if we are willing to
walk into that darkest night
and not drown in its blackness
if we can stay the course
which is always too long
and too hard
we will find
He remembers

He remembers

He remembers

Love, Cindy