Theology Question

I went back a little bit in my writings, but I don't think I've written about this yet.
Driving out to Arkansas to sit on the river with a friend, one of the sweet older people I visit calls me. She says, "My husband didn't call you yet, did he?" I reply no.  "Well, then I have to tell you.  That St Joseph statue you bought for us [to help us sell the house]...well, someone in the house broke his head off. "John" was too embarrassed to call you.  Do we need to get another one?  Can we throw it away?  Will a headless St Joseph still help sell the house?"
Mind you, I'm on the road, looking for exits.  Now I'm trying not to laugh too loud.  I'm snorting. How many years of seminary training, counseling, holy listening classes have I had...no one ever came to me with this possibly scenario.

I try to calm her down. No, don't throw what's left away. Try to find the head if you can. I'll buy you another one.

I take the wrong exit. I'm trying to reassure her. I look back at where I was supposed to go and the highway is completely STOPPED.  Major accident. I go another route without any delay in my traveling. "Oh are you on the road?" she asks. "I'll let you go!" We'll talk next week." And I smile about how God does things.

Retelling this story to my priest friend, he laughs and says something like, "Now you know what it is like to be a priest.  You got "the priest question."  These are the kinds of questions that make life interesting: Can a headless St Joseph still sell a house.

And we had a good time sharing stories about some of our work.  The unusual things that cause people to be afraid...and the not so unusual things.

How many times did I have to say "novel" when someone would come to me scared to death that the "Left Behind Series" was true...or that "The DaVinci Code" was true.  Novel, I'd say over and over. It is a story...sometimes it is a good story, but it is not theology.  Unless of course, you consider the idea of novel a theology....

Somewhere in the Old Testament (Hebrew Bible) there is a story of Moses...asking for a sign...if he's going to lead all these people out into the desert, out of slavery...what will be the sign that God is with them...and it is here that I begin to see God's sense of humor.  God essentially says that "the sign will be the sign."  Which is just about as funny as "I will be who I will be." Yud-hay-vav-heh" In other words...my name is "I am." (Huh?) That's my name. I exist. That's all you need to know. Argh.

Burning bush, indeed. Take off your shoes, you are entering holy ground. Humble thyself in my sight...you ain't in charge. But I invited you here, so quit sulking and be happy. 

The ever present theological questions of being really Catholic: "Am I doing it right?" 
Most truthful theological answer: No.

We are human. We are finite. We are flawed. We are limited by our senses, our prejudices, our judgments, our selfishness, our hungers. We cannot possibly ever get it right. To get it right, it would declare that we were no longer human.

Only God is right. Only God is perfect.  Only God can work miracles. Only God understands love.  To say that we understand God is a misuse of the word. I claim union with God...I don't expect anyone to believe me. I don't always believe me...but I've had a hint of something amazing, exquisite, perfect...and I want it all the time...it hurts to not have it, but it almost a joyful wound. I just know...that we are more than flesh and blood...and there is a home...a place...a thing different...that will make all this make sense some day. 

I know others know it, too. You see it in their eyes...of maybe you feel it in their presence...these are the things which make saints...the ones who refuse to accept the world as it is and puts us on fire to reach for something better. We want to be around them all the time...we clamor all the way to the edge of the water...we hunger for that which can satisfy us and that alone is God.

So theology is only a means to an end...and can be an obstacle to faith if we worship theology too much. It is a tool, a way to communicate an idea of God...which is not God...but only an idea.

Me, in my woundedness, tried to reason out God. Unmerited suffering forces us into primarily two ways of thinking: 
The world is evil. God is good. Therefore, choose God.
The world is evil. There is no God. The only goal is to obtain power. Through power you can limit the amount of evil forced upon you.
The world is good. God is good. If bad happens to you, you are evil and must be punished.
The world is good. You are good. You have been hurt without reason, therefore God does not exist. We are all navel lint. Nothing we do matters. So celebrate your consciousness while you have it.

I was wrong about the two ways...

The point being...in my existence, I know God. And many others seem to also.  There are good ways and bad ways of expressing our love for God. A broad spectrum of rigidity and permissiveness that can distract us from the real thing.

There is no way to know when we are fully right or wrong. Not until later...that is...and perhaps we will all be so surprised by what we find...

But for now, we've just got to love, in all the ways we can, truly, madly, deeply...and treat with tenderness the theological questions we ask each other. Does God hear my prayer more clearly if I light a candle?  Does God grant my prayer request if I have a thousand people praying through emails with me for the same thing?  Did I really forgive my brother? My mother? My father?  Does God really forgive me?  What have I done that has hurt someone else?  How will I know?  Can St. Rita save my marriage? Can St Joseph help me sell my house? 

Ah, well...only you know the answers to these questions. What does your heart tell you?  In there, you will find what you need. God gave it to you long before you were born. Listen to your heart.  God is there, waiting for you to ask your question.

Love, Cindy