Labyrinth

I have tried unsuccessfully to transfer a movie of walking a labyrinth in San Marcos...about 5 times. I do not understand what I am doing wrong. It really is only a half of a walk, and since I was filming it, hardly authentic...still the peace and beauty of the garden in which I wandered is worth a post...and I am so sad I cannot figure out what I've done wrong. 

The post of a sweaty me on Facebook seemed to transfer without much trouble...and I hesitate to put the labyrinth walk there. I am hoping that I can get some help from my friends...

There is a song out there, which has a line: live like you were dying. Well, the truth is, we are all dying, every single day. Our bodies are going to wear out. No matter how well or how poorly we care for them.

While the blood still flows, though, we are granted the infinite possibility of connection. I know I can get quite boring, always going back to the same theme. But sometimes, when I pray, I weep so deeply for the world, because it chooses to not be connected. Or it doesn't know it can be connected. I weep because God has given me a light...an idea...a feeling...of His reality...and I am such a fool. I cannot seem to share it enough. I feel like Paul...gotta get the message out there...while there's still time.

Then I have the devil whispering in my ear: "You are wasting your time. They don't care. They don't want to know...and besides, you're a woman...nobody wants to listen to you. If you appear smart, they will kill you. If you appear ignorant, then they have already killed you. They will always win. Give up. Tomorrow, when you are gone, no one will remember you were here."

That's how the devil wins. He takes our greatest fears and dresses them up to look like truths. He tells us to stop trying. He shows us a future where we will fail...and way too many of us buy into that ruse. 

There is always a power in the world working to keep it off balance. It thrives on our desire for independence and our fear of supression. Fear drives us to excess and to hoard that which should be shared with all people. Fear creates rules of order that stifle the Spirit's movement through us. Fear is why we sometimes hide the good, because "we can't handle the good," yet without thinking, we spread evil around irresponsibly...perhaps because evil, in its own nature is irresponsible. It rationalizes, it explains, it creates committees and meetings and agendas while the oppressed go hungry...for food, for shelter, for love.

I was with a family recently. I climbed three flights of stairs to visit a very young boy who has cancer. He was hurting and in bed...In his room were perhaps ten people, family and friends...all in prayer with me...his mama jostling him just a little, "Wake up...Cindy's here." A boy with only one good leg who walks up and down three flights of stairs...pictures of Jesus and Mary and the saints cover almost every space of every wall in the home. The love for that boy in the bed is overpowering...also the helplessness...and above all the faith and the true understanding of what the word "family" means.

What right do I have to walk into the holy place? What can I bring to this child? Why to they trust me? If they only knew who I really was...ah, but was doesn't matter. Who I am, in this moment of time, in this room, with these amazing people, this family...I was called to be a witness, to share the Good Word of Christ, to carry the Communion, which they understand in ways I will never know...I do my job. I sit. I listen. I pray. I hold a hand. I hug. I cry. I try to be still and let God have it. It is hard work...but it is the best work. And I am greatful to God that I get to do it...one more day.

This is what we are about. Small moves. Lots of small moves. Working together to share the love He gave us. Climbing the three flights of steps to encounter God, then descending three flights of steps...knowing the woman who walked in the door is not the woman who walked out of the door.

That's kind of a labyrinth. And it will have to do for today.

While your heart still pumps blood through your veins...touch the person next to you with love.

Love, Cindy