Moonstrance II

How interesting in only a few hours things change. We consider our lives as dust in the wind, here today and tomorrow are gone and no one will remember who or what we were. I sat in the hospital with a Catholic family this morning. The mother asked me for an anointing for her child. I said I could bless, but not anoint. I made the comment that as a woman, I was not allowed to do that and because I had already been accused of doing that, formally, by a priest who had written my pastor that I was doing it.
Father called me aside one morning many months ago. "Cindy are you anointing people in the hospital?" "No!" I said emphatically. And he told me about the letter. I explained that I had gotten into a conversation concerning last rites and learned some new things and I shared what I had learned.

And like any good gossip, the fish got bigger and bigger until a priest heard about it and suddenly, I was a fallen woman. "No!" I told him. "Never done it. Won't do it." I explained what I thought may have happened. He sighed. I thought, yeah, well, if they aren't shooting at you, you aren't doing your job.

And I also thought, "well, Father, no one has ever asked me to anoint, so I haven't had to face what I would or would not do."

So when Mother asked me, I wanted to be very clear, that if the conversation returned to a priest, I let them know I knew the rules. I know the rules. I bend to the rules because within the Catholic Church, I can love God best.

SO what exactly do I do as a chaplain? What do I do as a Eucharistic Minister? Or an Extraordinary Minister? Or as a Lector? Or as a Catechist?

I don't do anything. God uses me to do His work. Just like He uses a priest.

Or not.

I went to my car, glad to have had the chance to pray with and provide Holy Communion to a family. It is the work that energizes me. But again, the questions arrive: What are you doing here? Why do you dare, you a sinner, to share the grace of God with anyone? And the question snowballs.

"Lord I am not worthy, to have you do anything for me, or for me to do anything for you, but if only you say the word...then I shall be healed."

Then I can serve you, then I can share your grace with others. Then you can use me to heal others.

And from the hospital to the next, the next painful thing...where I held on as the head rested on my shoulder and the tears flowed freely and maybe I did it all wrong...only time will tell...but I keep saying what I knew as truth "Better out than in" Cry it out, cry it away...this is your gift...let it heal you...and then in the midst, God wounded me again...and I let my tears flow, too.

What I have done for you, you must also do for others.

I walk into the fire, into the darkness and tell Him "yes" once more. I don't have a clue about whether or not I have followed the rules well enough to satisfy everyone...I know that, if my heart is right, He will straighten all the wrong angles. I simply have to continue to learn what it means to be obedient. That's hard. What is easy for some is so hard for me. What is hard for others is easy for me.

Today's reading:Gal 3:22-29

Brothers and sisters:
Scripture confined all things under the power of sin,
that through faith in Jesus Christ
the promise might be given to those who believe.

Before faith came, we were held in custody under law,
confined for the faith that was to be revealed.
Consequently, the law was our disciplinarian for Christ,
that we might be justified by faith.
But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a disciplinarian.
For through faith you are all children of God in Christ Jesus.
For all of you who were baptized into Christ
have clothed yourselves with Christ.
There is neither Jew nor Greek,
there is neither slave nor free person,
there is not male and female;
for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants,
heirs according to the promise.

Faith of a mustard seed. How long before I have the faith of a mustard seed?

New moon. New challenges. New temptations. New blessings. New birth.

Oh, Mother of the Most Holy Rosary, hold me close and keep me focused on Him.

Love, Cindy