Born of a Woman...

He looked me in the eye and asked, "Who has the greatest power in this room?" and I thought to myself, "I do." But I said what was probably the truth, "You do." And I was shocked inside myself to know that's what I really thought. But that has always been his goal for me, to realize the power I have.

And yet it is very clear to me. I have have no power of my own. If anything is there, then He put it there.  And realizing that scares the hell out of me.

What if you were to actually see yourself as God sees you?  If you were able to see all the gifts He has given you? Would you run away and hide? Distract yourself with many unhealthy pleasures rather than embrace who God has called you to be?  What is we really lived out and within his teachings?  Would the world just fall apart?

Sometimes I think we are afraid of God, not because of His wrath, but because of His blessings.  Believing in God means becoming the full person we are created to be...not some settling for less, giving up or just coasting through life. Can't do that if we reach into the gift of real life that He offers.

When my supervisor asked me the question, "Who has the most power?" I shuddered at my gut response. It will be painful and dangerous to live out my call. I walk slowly into it and my steps get shorter and slower each day. I am afraid of the abyss of the unknown.

What is the thing I am holding on to that stops me from living out my call? To what am I still so attached, that if I were to lay it aside, I would be able to walk through the door of....where He asks me to be. Today, I pray that God will show me what I must still let go of so that I can do the work He has called me to do. (Heavens, perhaps it is writing...!!!)

I think about the movie Willow.  At the beginning of Willow's adventure, the Great Sorcerer, holds up his hand, wiggles his fingers and asks a group of candidates, "Which finger holds the power...?" and each candidate, including Willow, fails. They each pick one of the the Sorcerer's fingers. The Sorcerer comes to Willow after the contest and asks Willow what he really thinks.  Willow looked down and said, "I wanted to pick my own finger," and the Sorcerer tells Willow that that was the right answer.

Galatians 4:4-5:  "But when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law to ransom under the law, that we might receive adoption." 

I keep thinking back on that phrase: born of a woman. Trying to think about what it might have meant back then. A God, born of a woman...something valued a bit like a cow...for what it could produce, not for who it was.  Just another possession. Have I written this already? Again and again, as I am drawn into the spirituality of women, that subtle message seems to always be received and taken as truth. If we are women then we are less than somehow.  This is a lie. And there is nothing in the Church teaching to support it...and nothing in the Bible to support it. But the message remains. It is still heard.

Perhaps it is heard through the unwillingness of the Church to ordain women. Kind of an implied assumption by virtue of the law in place. And I am beginning to realize that it is the 'unwritten' assumptions that I see within the church, both Catholic and Protestant, that disturb me. I have come to the conclusion that there would be too much unrest in the Faithful if the rules were changed.  Look what happened when Luther simply asked for a dialogue on Church doctrine. I could never support such violence or bloodshed just to make a point. My goal is always to help bring people closer to God. I don't have to proven right. God will tell me when I get there if I was right or wrong...my work is to love. To love others completely.

So my hope is to help women see their value as daughters of Christ. We clean the pews and set up for Mass and hold the books, make prayer quilts and cook meals. We hold hands and cry with others in their faith journeys. We listen and we pray without ceasing. We bring the Good News to the homebound and to our children. We make sure the shirts are clean and the socks match.

We are great leaders. We change hearts and minds to lean on God. We are creative and we bring new blessings every single day to the people we encounter. No church law can or will ever interfere with that. I am not interested in politics. I am interested in getting the job done.

If someone wants to call me a priest, I let them. If someone wants to call me a nun, I let them. If someone wants to call me a chaplain, I let them. What they see in me is exactly what they need to see. What I want them to see is irrelevant.   I just have to pray without ceasing and let God take me where He wants me to go.  I am prepared now to rest in my calling and be exactly what He needs me to be.

Let me do what you ask,
in the way that you ask,
for as long as you ask,
because you ask it of me.
Today's reading from the Liturgy of the Hours: Sirach 24:1-22:
Wisdom sings her own praises, before her own people she proclaims her glory. In the assembly of the Most High she opens her mouth, in the presence of his hosts she declares her worth: "From the mouth of the Most High I came forth, and mistlike covered the earth, In the highest heavens did I dwell, my throne on a pillar of cloud. The vault of heaven I compassed alone, through the deep abyss I wandered.

Over waves of the sea, over all the land, over every people and nation I held sway. Among all these I sought a resting place; in whose inheritance should I abide? "Then the Creator of all gave me his command, and he who formed me chose the spot for my tent, Saying, 'In Jacob make your dwelling, in Israel your inheritance.' Before all ages, in the beginning, he created me, and through all ages I shall not cease to be.  In the holy tent I ministered before him, and in Zion I fixed my abode.  Thus in the chosen city he has given me rest, in Jerusalem is my domain. I have struck root among the glorious people, in the portion of the LORD, his heritage.

 

"Like a cedar on Lebanon I am raised aloft, like a cypress on Mount Hermon,  Like a palm tree in En-gedi, like a rosebush in Jericho, Like a fair olive tree in the field, like a plane tree growing beside the water.

Like cinnamon, or fragrant balm, or precious myrrh, I give forth perfume; Like galbanum and onycha and sweet spices, like the odor of incense in the holy place. I spread out my branches like a terebinth, my branches so bright and so graceful.  I bud forth delights like the vine, my blossoms become fruit fair and rich.

Come to me, all you that yearn for me, and be filled with my fruits.  You will remember me as sweeter than honey, better to have than the honeycomb. He who eats of me will hunger still, he who drinks of me will thirst for more. He who obeys me will not be put to shame, he who serves me will never fail."

 

All this is true of the book of the Most High's covenant, the law which Moses commanded us as an inheritance for the community of Jacob.

 Wisdom is a woman...

Love, Cindy