Not a night person

I am usually in bed by 9 p.m.  What ever I needed to do that day should have been done by then.  Everything else needs to wait for tomorrow.  I don't like to miss the dawn.  I am a morning person. I want my coffee and a jacket and to go down to the lake or the river and spent the first fruits of my day with God. If I do anything else, the world just doesn't function properly. Then when I am tempted to do something I shouldn't, I can remember the morning...the first of everything I have and of everything I am belongs to God. The world can then have what is left...and generally, there's quite a bit left.

I've got that song playing over and over...The Lady in Red...there is no way to explain what this song does for me. It is what I have heard called a "snapshot" song. I hear it and I am immediately transported to the time and space where that song suddenly seemed to describe the whole world in an instant. You know, when the planets align and you feel one with the universe and perfect love...and you know that knowing will last only as long as the song...but you remember that you connected...and that is enough.   I think that's the gift of music. It breaks down the barriers of rationality and takes us deep into the unknown of our souls and affirms for us that we are more than flech and blood...and because of that knowing, we are suddenly aware of heavens and hells and are hungry to finally be one again with God.

No, I wasn't dancing. I was riding in a car. Long ago. But it all made sense. We didn't talk. But I was completely at peace.  And I was reminded of that feeling last week. Riding in a car, closing my eyes, resting in the fact that I was trusting someone else to take me where I needed to be. And how wonderful it was to rest in the trust that someone would take care of me. I felt such relief to not be in charge of my life, if only for a few minutes. To just ride along.

Makes me think of the womb. Before we were born, we rode along, inside our mothers, not knowing where we were going...but that gentle rocking, and the music of her heartbeat, we knew we were safe and protected and loved. We did not worry about what would happen next. We were completely in the now of life. Now was all that mattered. We knew we were going somewhere, but we couldn't see a thing...we trusted our deliverer. The one who gave us life.

So every now and then, when I am completely in the now, I feel God so strongly and it isn't always in traditional ways. It is in Cindy ways.

And if you see me rocking on the street somewhere and hear me listening to this song, or maybe "Tighter and Tighter," you'll know I am remembering God is in charge and it's all going to be alright.  He knows where I am going.  I just have to close my eyes and ride along.

Love, Cindy