The Open Wound

I dreamed a dream:
There must have been two of me
Looking down on my body
Sliced open
I found myself digging around
My lungs, my kidneys, my liver
Looking for my heart
Slicing part after part away
Consuming the pieces like a fine meal
Yet still unsatisfied,
Thinking,
I must find my heart...
I need to see it,
                        if it is still good,
                        if it has grown too big,
                        or too small,
                        if it will still work,
                        be useful to this body...
I searched and seached...
                                       I could not find my heart...
                                                                            then I woke up.

And I remembered what I dreamed:
Looking at this body
How it was formed inside
How the parts seemed to work
Even though I had no control over them
They kept me alive
                               And I realized
I was happy to have all those parts
That that God made just for me.
I was glad to be alive
Even though I could not find my heart.

When I woke
I realized
I did not have my heart
Because I'd given in away...
                                               to Him, who loved me first. 

And knowing that
Made me happy
To be alive. 

Love, Cindy